i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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