and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
