You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
