And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
