doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
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My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
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She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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