yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
