i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
