Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
