i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
