you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
