idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
