wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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