we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
