that's an acceptable place to lick
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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