Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
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I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
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I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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