She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
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Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
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Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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