Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he shaved USA in his pubs
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
