So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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