the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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