no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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