When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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