was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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