I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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