I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize