apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Sober January is a disaster.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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