There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
