just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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