I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
