no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
