I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
