so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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