worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
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