you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
