we need to drink 2009 down the drain
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
