Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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