I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
