it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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