Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
