Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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