Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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