Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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