His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
