I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
The struggles of a small town man whore
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
