There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
