Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
