Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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