I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
