Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
