I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
