Where is the hickey?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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