I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
