U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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