Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
