New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
