Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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