Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
