I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
