I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
