I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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